Carrie begins by telling us a story about a gal with rather fine taste in men who winds up marrying a rich and less than fine looking guy. For whatever reason Carrie and the girls are there too, looking like the witches of Eastwick, which kind of awesome.
That’s where a guy, Turtle, with halitosis comes in. He moves in on Samantha, who quickly dodges him. The wedding looks like a total drag. But Carrie absolutely sticks around to get the dish from the bride.
She advises to marry someone who loves you more than you love him
Stone. Cold. Bitch.
Carrie must share this with Big. His response is that he doesn’t want to get hitched again. The girls don’t really care as much as Carrie, except Charlotte. Rules Girl states her reasons marriage matters, but Miranda’s reason trumps all: she just got the ultimate vibrator called the rabbit.
And now we have the title.
We also have a sure bet that Miranda is going to go home and play with her new pet rabbit.
Charlotte is enamored. “It’s pink! For girls!” Charlotte, I’m sure there are some guys out there who don’t mind a swatch of pink.
While Carrie is daring herself to play with her rabbit in bed, she gets a call from Samantha. Her skeezy date ditches her (More ditching. We should rename this show Ditching and the City). So we see a rarely despondent Samantha get scooped up by an ever polite Turtle.
After remarking on his breath and laughing at his report, she decides to take on the man and give herself a fixer upper and a boyfriend all in one. Wow, Samantha is actually dating a guy.
Carrie runs into the pair while lunching with her newly wed friend. They are both stunned as Samantha’s progress. Even the new bride is jealous by the look on her face.
Charlotte decides that yoga is a good time to talk about her vagina and her rabbit. I guess all that stretching loosened up her inhibitions as well. She ditches Carrie that night to stay in and play.
So Carrie takes Stanford. He’s down about feeling rejected by other men. He admits to carry that he’s considering marrying a woman to earn an inheritance from his rich grandmother. Apparently it’s the 1950s again.
All Big can do is mock Carrie.
Charlotte calls Carrie to cancel yet another night out with her friends.
So Miranda and Carrie invade her apartment to take the rabbit out if Charlotte’s hands, among other places.
Later, Samantha realizes her wasted effort in the ever odd Turtle. She sends herself home while he examines mushrooms. He doesn’t seem too bothered. Actually, like any investment banker, he leverages his earnings towards better gains like the woman sitting on his other side.
While Carrie is loyally pretending to be Stanford’s lover, the spry old woman wisely warns Carrie that Stanford may not be the kind of guy who’d like her back. And the jig is up.
So Carrie can’t even get married to a gay guy. And Big is not the marrying kind. While she discusses this with Big, we are left to wonder, “Will they break up over this?” Nope. They stick together just like every other episode.
Honestly, this episode doesn’t really do much to follow up the previous one. The plot is kind of flat, and while all the ladies are involved in this one, as characters they all just kind of tread water. Samantha’s storyline was the most interesting, but overall still boring.
The appeal of this episode lies in its reliance on the shock value of the dildo. So there’s no real drama. Carrie and Big barely confront a big issue. It’s kind of frustrating, this first inconsistent season. Even the humor is based on one liners and quips instead of really well written scenarios. Oh well… time for the next one.