Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: Evolution

Miranda is at her gynecologist. Her sex life has become so dull that she’s dropping her birth control, which doesn’t sound like such a good idea anyway, but overly dramatic people will say anything to get attention.

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Then her doctor tells her that she’s got a lazy ovary. Apparently, that will make it harder for her to have kids. Charlotte has a tilted uterus, she says at breakfast or whatever meal they’re having, so she too is reproductively challenged.

Is the light funny, or am I just seeing a lot of foreshadows?

Samantha complains about her lady parts doctor, that all that digging around with a bill instead of a climax is no fun.

About as fun as dropping condoms out of your purse, which Carrie does to fit in with the theme of the conversation. She complains that she doesn’t have a place for her things at Big’s so she has to become a mobile prophylactic center.

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While sharing underwear stories, Miranda brings up now ex Steve and her ovary’s condition. Way to kill the convo, dear.

In an attempt to stake her claim on Big’s life, Carrie begins leaving things at his place. Watch the snow ball snow ball from here.

Charlotte decides to take a vacation from men by having dinner with a gay friend (the best kind). Everything is just fabulous, until he kisses her good night. Is this gay friend policy, now?

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It’s at this point that the episode indulges in more judgmental categorizing that only makes sense in New York, and thus makes sense to no one except the writers of this episode.

Is he a gay straight man, or a straight gay man? Thanks, girls, for making things needlessly more complicated.

Speaking of complications, Samantha spots an ex who dumped her while Miranda junks up her drinks with hormones for her ovary and Carrie brags about her tiny purse and her first “Big” dump.

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Now Charlotte’s world is rocked. Not only is a gay man asking her on dates, and Carrie is doing the number 2 at a boyfriend’s place (scandalous!), she discovers Samantha actually loved a man once, and that he broke her heart.

So Samantha strides over, determined to one up him by seducing him and then ditching him out if spite.

Big is also feeling a bit of spite, by bringing Carrie’s things back to her. How thoughtful. Carrie hashes it out with him, and Big fails to see what the deal is, because he is more than happy with their separation of things.

This gets Carrie thinking about the episode’s thin as ice theme, about women evolving. Let’s skip pondering it and just skip ahead to Samantha putting her plan into action.

But first, Charlotte tries her date with the gay man, who continues to baffle her, by alternately out gaying himself, and putting the moves on her.

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Samantha changes her plan when she sleeps with her ex.

Charlotte also alters her plan to solve the mystery of sexuality by bringing Carrie and Stanford in to meet the baffling boyfriend. Even Stanford’s gaydar doesn’t seem to work. Unlike many gay men I know, Stanford immediately concedes without the snarkiest of comments that Stefan in straight.

Meanwhile, Miranda accepts a date with a by the numbers straight man who is fighting his male pattern balding with hair plugs, and plugs up Miranda’s ovary problem with typical chauvinism.

He shows no sympathy toward her fertility issues, and actually insults Miranda’s thoughts on the matter. She shuts him and his lazy receding hairline down, and has a date with vodka at home instead of with this creep.

While Miranda cools down with a chilled cocktail, Charlotte and Stefan heat up other kinds of tails, all to the music of Cher. Charlotte finally confronts him on his sexuality. He explains rather deftly that if he were gay, he’s set up for it quite well, but he just isn’t into peen like he is Cher. And Charlotte.

So maybe, and implausibly, he is straight after all.

The next morning, Samantha’s plan backfires. She lingered too long with the man she loved, delayed too long her revenge, and Dominic dumps her again. Maybe she wasn’t that kind of woman after all, but Dominic was still an ass hat.

Also the next morning, Charlotte is enjoying the most fabulous post-coital brunch any woman has ever had with a man until a mouse invades their gay little time. Between Stefan acting more girly about it than her and the fact that his fabulous abode was infested with mice, Charlotte calls it quits.

Also that morning, Carrie decides to be passive aggressive about the whole leaving things issue, and gets ready to remove herself. However, she finds a photo of her and Big stashed away which reminds her that having her there really does mean something to Big, even if he doesn’t want her crap lying around.

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