Family hour at the gym? I’m with Miranda on this one; this is an awful idea. It is because of this, however, that Miranda meets a guy. He’s a single dad who uses his parenting and son to pick up women. Can’t believe Miranda fell for this one… he is cute, though.
The girls can’t help but make fun, except Charlotte who thinks it’s sweet and then she brings up her brother, Wesley (who just divorced wife Leslie), whom she wants the girls to meet.
Speaking of meeting, Carrie is going to meet her new boyfriend another writer(Justin Theroux, who appeared before as a different, douchier writer) who wants her to meet his parents while he quickly drops off a load. He says he is good at that. The parents love her, her sex column, and Carrie is roped into Vaughn’s family before you can say climax. This family moves really swiftly.
Also on a date, Miranda tries on for size the divorced dad. Their date is actually a baby sitting session with cheesy flirting. Miranda even gets assaulted by the kid. Awful children. Miranda does find out the her dad date prefers being married which makes her wonder if she’d like to be.
Later, Charlotte is catering for her bitter brother. Charlotte tries to convince him to reconsider leaving Leslie, but Wesley isn’t having any of it, unless any of it is a cocktail.
After lunch with the family, Carrie and new boy Vaughn can’t wait to have sex. Barely inside if her apartment, they quickly strip down. Unfortunately, not even inside of Carrie, Vaughn climaxes. Politely Carrie gets a tissue.
Samantha advises her to break up immediately, and with plenty of precoital orgasm puns to boot. Carrie, however, is enchanted by Vaughn’s mother. Over coffee or something, Carrie does learn that the family is rather up front about sex, but can they be up front about speedy Vaughn?
Charlotte is prepping Wesley to meet the girls, but realizes she didn’t want him to meet one girl in particular: Samantha. Before she can diffuse this, Samantha and Wesley are already hiring it off. God forbid her brother be human and have sex.
Meanwhile, Miranda has just slept with divorced dad. While sitting nude on the toilet, and likely contemplating marriage, little Simon barges into the bathroom. Before Miranda can think about how fragile children can be, she slams the door on the kid. Perhaps a bruised nose is better than a bruised memory of a naked woman?
Miranda is quickly shut out herself, while dad takes Simon to get stitches.
Also that morning, Charlotte finds a pantless Samantha in her kitchen. To her credit at least Samantha is trying to make coffee, but Charlotte becomes enraged. She basically calls her friend a slut for sleeping with her brother and kicks her out.
Also, also that morning Carrie and Vaughn go for try number two. She barely gets her hands on his penis before he comes again. They then discuss documentary shorts. Shorts, eh?
Wesley makes a case for his sex with Samantha. Charlotte is still harping on her brother to get back with Leslie, because she is an idiot these first couple of seasons. After being corrected, she takes a basket of muffins to Samantha as an apology. Basically, buttered muffins are a good way to thank Samantha for buttering Wesley’s muffin.
Next Sunday at the gym, Miranda does her best to avoid children, which is good because until they learn morality they are evil, and dating the parent of one is crazy.
Across town Carrie is reading Vaughn’s book. This turns him on. Carrie, however, shuts down his urges because turning pages too quickly may bring them to the end of the story too early… This turns off Vaughn. He throws a tantrum the rest of the episode.
At the parents’ house, talking about sex and Vaughn’s sister’s lesbian lover, his tantrum climaxes over cream cheese. It’s all quite awkward so Carrie excuses herself, but what is even more awkward is that while Vaughn sits and watches her walk out, his mother runs to keep Carrie from leaving.
His mother actually is familiar with Vaughn and his sensitive penis and wants to talk about it. Carrie is just not comfortable with this and realizes that it’s the mother she is breaking up with instead of her boyfriend.
She leaves the house of quickness and awkwardness and meets up with the girls where they likely talk about how they will never ever see Wesley again, even at weddings if Charlotte happens to get married.