The season two finale!
(And my 100th post, by the way…)
Carrie is picking out flowers. While she is doing so, Miranda spots her ex, Steve, walking down the street. Miranda panics and runs. Charlotte is scandalized, of course.
Miranda muses about her inability to befriend an ex and says she pretends they don’t exist, while Samantha shares that men aren’t where she gets her friends, just her flings. Charlotte actively withholds friendship from any man who won’t love her.
Carrie is the only one who seems to have an issue with this, mostly because her ex is getting married and she doesn’t know how to let everything go with him, even if she can’t have everything with him. Then they bad mouth Natasha. That’s my girls.
Carrie’s article begs the question: can you be friends with an ex?
Miranda’s blissful ignorance is destroyed when Steve stakes her out at the apartment just to tell her she is shitty and that she hurt his feelings. Then she cries.
It sucks even you realise you’re a shitty person.
Then Steve defused the whole thing so that he can tell Miranda that she’s got boogers in her nose. He then suggests they try to be friends since their history with each other is hard to ignore.
Charlotte also has a hard time ignoring her past, but since she isn’t dating anyone, she reminisces about her days horseback riding that ended when her horse threw her.
And speaking of getting thrown by horses, Samantha encounters a stallion of a man in the street that she can’t wait to tame. I wish I could get guys to ask for my number just by walking past them on the street. Mr. Cocky gives her his number for a “friendly little fu- drink”.
Carrie finally gets the nerve to confront her past, but when she calls Big’s place, Natasha answers. But Big has caller ID, so when she hangs up, she realizes she has to call back or look crazy.
When she does, Big answers, thankfully, but awkwardness still ensues. They awkwardly agree to meet for a drink to establish the rules for friendship.
Later, they meet for their lunch. It’s still awkward. Carrie nearly falls to her death on a sneaky stair. They’re both nervous, so having a sober lunch is out of the question.
Flash forward, and they are tipsy and Carrie complains about Big’s Blood Sweat and Tears music collection. She tries to listen to Big talk about Natasha, but realizes that unless they are really serious about a significant other, that she’d rather they not talk about their love lives.
But… Big is serious with Natasha. They’re engaged.
Well, this sends Carrie into shit storm mode. How can Big may a girl when he told Carrie he never wanted to be married again? She accuses him of stringing her along and she makes the most ridiculous scene. Then she almost knocks over her chair, and kills herself on the dangerous stair, and causes a waiter to drop a bunch of metal.
The next day, Carrie attempts to support Charlotte while she mounts a horse. What she really wants to do is bitch about breaking in Big while another woman saddles him up, and smoke in inappropriate places. Charlotte backs out her horseback experience.
Samantha on the other hand, is just starting hers. But before they get hot and heavy, he stops to warn Samantha about something. Oh no…
Is he married.
Does he have an STD?
Is he gay?
Nope. Not only is he a stallion, apparently he is hung like one too. While Samantha celebrates hitting the penile jackpot (especially after the tiny dud that James was at the beginning of the season), Mr. (Huge) Cocky says that he is, in fact, really huge and that others have complained he is too big.
Samantha brushes that off. She’s practically a pro cock jockey, but reality sets in and she is speechless. And likely gagged.
She complains to Carrie, but expresses her determination to mount him any way. He may be too big but until Goldicocks finds one that is just right, she needs to break some sex records.
That night, Miranda and Steve have a nice friendly dinner. But friendly turns to frisky and they wind up sleeping together. So much for friendship.
Also that night, Samantha takes a hit of pot and hopes she’s still limber from yoga so she can attempt to tackle Mr. Cocky’s tackle. What kind of yoga helps with that?
Seriously, let me know in the comments.
She thinks she’s making progress, but it really turns out to be too much. Just when she thinks she’s got the hang of mister hung, he asks if she’s, ahem… ready for more.
Nope, nope, nope, and she fends off Mr. Cocky and his meat. Sometimes too much is really too much. Been there, done that, honey… no shame in it.
On a positive note, Samantha attempts to make her first male friend.
We never see him again, so apparently that didn’t work out.
Across town, Big tries to call Carrie while she is screening, so he leaves a remorseful message. He laments hurting her, and as soon as he says as much Carrie picks up the phone. They clear the air between each other and realize that it’s time for them each to move on, friends or not, but hopefully as friends.
But then Carrie gets an engagement invitation in the mail. Crap.
The day of the engagement pretty, Carrie and the girls have some drinks. Then they begin gushing about “The Way We Were”. As a total chick film, Samantha has never seen it, which allows the girls to explain to the audience the significance if the film and how it resembles Carrie and Big.
They begin to sing the closing song of the film which puts Samantha in an awkward spot. She likely ricochets between horror and embarrassment, but ultimately she cries. Not because of the other girls’ mediocre singing, but because she misses James. It turns out that her encounter with a monster penis made her realize that size isn’t everything, and that maybe she does want a man who truly loves her instead of hook ups the rest of her life.
And that’s where Carrie leaves them, and goes to mak peace with Big. She has just one question, “Why wasn’t it me?”
Big says, very little, but it turns it that Natasha is a simple girl whereas Carrie is complex. She says, “Your girl is lovely, Hubble,” echoing that final scene. Carrie has a moment with a horse herself as she watches a man attempt to put a bridle on a rather spirited mare.
Perhaps that is what Carrie is.
And that’s how we end on season two. Miranda has slept with an ex. Samantha tried sleeping with a horse-hung man, but wound up missing an ex. Carrie said goodbye to an ex, and Charlotte rode a horse.