season two

Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: Ex and the City

The season two finale!
(And my 100th post, by the way…)

Carrie is picking out flowers. While she is doing so, Miranda spots her ex, Steve, walking down the street. Miranda panics and runs. Charlotte is scandalized, of course.

Miranda muses about her inability to befriend an ex and says she pretends they don’t exist, while Samantha shares that men aren’t where she gets her friends, just her flings. Charlotte actively withholds friendship from any man who won’t love her.

Carrie is the only one who seems to have an issue with this, mostly because her ex is getting married and she doesn’t know how to let everything go with him, even if she can’t have everything with him. Then they bad mouth Natasha. That’s my girls.

Carrie’s article begs the question: can you be friends with an ex?

Miranda’s blissful ignorance is destroyed when Steve stakes her out at the apartment just to tell her she is shitty and that she hurt his feelings. Then she cries.

It sucks even you realise you’re a shitty person.

Then Steve defused the whole thing so that he can tell Miranda that she’s got boogers in her nose. He then suggests they try to be friends since their history with each other is hard to ignore.

Charlotte also has a hard time ignoring her past, but since she isn’t dating anyone, she reminisces about her days horseback riding that ended when her horse threw her.

And speaking of getting thrown by horses, Samantha encounters a stallion of a man in the street that she can’t wait to tame. I wish I could get guys to ask for my number just by walking past them on the street. Mr. Cocky gives her his number for a “friendly little fu- drink”.

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Carrie finally gets the nerve to confront her past, but when she calls Big’s place, Natasha answers. But Big has caller ID, so when she hangs up, she realizes she has to call back or look crazy.

When she does, Big answers, thankfully, but awkwardness still ensues. They awkwardly agree to meet for a drink to establish the rules for friendship.

Later, they meet for their lunch. It’s still awkward. Carrie nearly falls to her death on a sneaky stair. They’re both nervous, so having a sober lunch is out of the question.

Flash forward, and they are tipsy and Carrie complains about Big’s Blood Sweat and Tears music collection. She tries to listen to Big talk about Natasha, but realizes that unless they are really serious about a significant other, that she’d rather they not talk about their love lives.

But… Big is serious with Natasha. They’re engaged.

Well, this sends Carrie into shit storm mode. How can Big may a girl when he told Carrie he never wanted to be married again? She accuses him of stringing her along and she makes the most ridiculous scene. Then she almost knocks over her chair, and kills herself on the dangerous stair, and causes a waiter to drop a bunch of metal.

Typical Carrie.

The next day, Carrie attempts to support Charlotte while she mounts a horse. What she really wants to do is bitch about breaking in Big while another woman saddles him up, and smoke in inappropriate places. Charlotte backs out her horseback experience.

Samantha on the other hand, is just starting hers. But before they get hot and heavy, he stops to warn Samantha about something. Oh no…

Is he married.

Does he have an STD?

Is he gay?

Nope. Not only is he a stallion, apparently he is hung like one too. While Samantha celebrates hitting the penile jackpot (especially after the tiny dud that James was at the beginning of the season), Mr. (Huge) Cocky says that he is, in fact, really huge and that others have complained he is too big.

Samantha brushes that off. She’s practically a pro cock jockey, but reality sets in and she is speechless. And likely gagged.

She complains to Carrie, but expresses her determination to mount him any way. He may be too big but until Goldicocks finds one that is just right, she needs to break some sex records.

That night, Miranda and Steve have a nice friendly dinner. But friendly turns to frisky and they wind up sleeping together. So much for friendship.

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Also that night, Samantha takes a hit of pot and hopes she’s still limber from yoga so she can attempt to tackle Mr. Cocky’s tackle. What kind of yoga helps with that?

Seriously, let me know in the comments.

She thinks she’s making progress, but it really turns out to be too much. Just when she thinks she’s got the hang of mister hung, he asks if she’s, ahem… ready for more.

Nope, nope, nope, and she fends off Mr. Cocky and his meat. Sometimes too much is really too much. Been there, done that, honey… no shame in it.

On a positive note, Samantha attempts to make her first male friend.

We never see him again, so apparently that didn’t work out.

The next day, Charlotte is trying again to get to know a horse, too, and unlike Samantha, she manages to successfully mount and ride him.
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Across town, Big tries to call Carrie while she is screening, so he leaves a remorseful message. He laments hurting her, and as soon as he says as much Carrie picks up the phone. They clear the air between each other and realize that it’s time for them each to move on, friends or not, but hopefully as friends.

But then Carrie gets an engagement invitation in the mail. Crap.

The day of the engagement pretty, Carrie and the girls have some drinks. Then they begin gushing about “The Way We Were”.  As a total chick film, Samantha has never seen it, which allows the girls to explain to the audience the significance if the film and how it resembles Carrie and Big.

They begin to sing the closing song of the film which puts Samantha in an awkward spot. She likely ricochets between horror and embarrassment, but ultimately she cries. Not because of the other girls’ mediocre singing, but because she misses James. It turns out that her encounter with a monster penis made her realize that size isn’t everything, and that maybe she does want a man who truly loves her instead of hook ups the rest of her life.

And that’s where Carrie leaves them, and goes to mak peace with Big. She has just one question, “Why wasn’t it me?”

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Big says, very little, but it turns it that Natasha is a simple girl whereas Carrie is complex. She says, “Your girl is lovely, Hubble,” echoing that final scene. Carrie has a moment with a horse herself as she watches a man attempt to put a bridle on a rather spirited mare.

Perhaps that is what Carrie is.

And that’s how we end on season two. Miranda has slept with an ex. Samantha tried sleeping with a horse-hung man, but wound up missing an ex.  Carrie said goodbye to an ex, and Charlotte rode a horse.

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Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: The Fuck Buddy

Skipper is back!

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(Ugh)

He’s bitching about how women always find a way to break up with him. Girls just aren’t that into him. It’s also funny to see how Miranda throws every break up line in the book at the poor guy.

On another date, Miranda just had dinner with Kevin, a bitchy little pipsqueak of a lawyer. All they do is bicker, but it only serves as foreplay. Miranda hates how he is bossy, except when they are having sex where he is really, really bossy.

She shares this story with the girls wearing the ugliest hat ever, and tries to make excuses for his behavior. Carrie, dressed like a Bavarian, attempts to diagnose the girls by picking out the “types” they choose.

Another interview montage plays. I’m glad I’ve stopped counting, and I’m sure the last one is coming soon. Dare I say this one? No, because I’ve been wrong before and if I am again I will lose the credibility that comes from having watched these episodes dozens of times.

Later, while in bed alone, Samantha overhears her neighbors having sex through her wall. That always sucks. I used to have neighbors a floor above me and, damn, they were loud fuckers (literally!). I thought their bed was going to cave in my ceiling and we’d wind up in the worst threesome ever. Samantha, however, uses this as an opportunity to pleasure herself, which was honestly the last thing on my mind when I heard my neighbors screwing.

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Carrie is still pining over Big and winds up calling her go to guy for post-break up sex. And it’s the guy from all the insurance commercials (Dean Winters) who personifies all the evil happenings that can damage your property. Here, he personifies a cute guy who has a boring job with a phone company. The two set up “drinks” within moments.

He arrives promptly. She doesn’t even have time to pop the cork in her wine before her guest is popping out of his pants. In a few minutes they start doing the “shaky shaky” and, after a minute of post-coital catching up, they part ways. Done and done. That’s how a hookup works.

But then Carrie ruins it, she sets up “dinner” as in a date, thus attempting sexual alchemy by trying to convert the lead that is a Fuck Buddy into the gold that is boyfriend material. Samantha is scandalized as if Carrie bathed in sewage. Charlotte has the nerve that ask what a Fuck Buddy is in the middle of yoga, and she gets an answer (Dial-a-Dick according to Samantha) that should resolve any questions the audience may have on the topic.

Charlotte, either inspired or corrupted by her friends, breaks her own rule by asking a guy out on a date. So forward!

Carrie is waiting on her “date”. He is surprised that she actually meant dinner. It’s sushi, so at least he still gets the raw fish he was expecting. He turns out to have no charisma outside of the bedroom. He even attempts to serenade her with a calling plan. Ooooh….

The poor guy even makes cheesy jokes. Sake it to me! Um…

At least they have sex.

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Samantha has a date of her own with the sexual sound that penetrates the wall from her neighbors. She gets a bit too loud in her co-moaning that they hear, and rap on the shared wall. Scarily enough, Samantha responds. Ew…

The next day, Miranda fearfully prepares for Kevin’s arrival to meet the girls. Charlotte brags about double-booking dates. Kevin does little to impress the girls, barking orders to the waitress.

Later, Charlotte begins her night of double dating, but winds up over-staying in her first date. She feigns sickness, even though the guy turns it to be really great.

Samantha, meanwhile, gets an invitation from her neighbors. The janitor seems to think they are attractive, which is enough for Samantha to consider accepting.

Back to Charlotte, her second date is quite the handsome stud, and sparks are definitely flying here, which is witnessed by Charlotte’s first date, who drops by her place to leave her some soothing broth. Caught red-handed, or red-lipped, or whatever Charlotte faces the scrutiny of both her dates, who wind up leaving together and Charlotte is at a loss for the night.

Samantha eagerly goes to greet her sexy new neighbors, but they are a bit less than what she expected, and just asks them the shut up. I guess Samantha isn’t into older old-world couples.

The next day Miranda is excited to celebrate with Kevin his becoming partner at his law firm. Hoping this could be the end of his bitchiness, she orders a bottle of champagne. Kevin promptly dismisses the gesture proving that he will always be an ass. She leaves and demands he never call her again. Why would he want to? Who knows…

Oddly enough, Miranda runs into Skipper, who is entirely too jaded at this point to take any more of Miranda’s crap. He even says “melk” instead of milk, which would be enough to deter me. Still, Miranda pursues him, but this is the last of Skipper. Thank goodness.

A few nights later, Carrie tries another date with her Fuck Buddy. Other than having genitals that ache for each other, they have nothing in common. They finish the night without sex, and Carrie is left to deal with her post-break up malaise alone.

Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: Games People Play

Carrie is post break up and she isn’t afraid to say it.

To anyone.

Repeatedly.

I knew a girl who did this one time. It was awful.

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Carrie’s friends tell her she needs therapy. Good girls.

She says she doesn’t believe in therapy. Neither does Charlotte. She says her family believes in exercise instead, which is why her family plays tennis so well. Samantha’s sideways look to Miranda in response is hilarious.

Even Stanford has a shrink. Three in fact.

While Carrie’s contemplates her impending head shrink, a really cute guy has begun playing flirty eye games with Miranda across her air shaft. That never happened to me in my apartment.

We next see Carrie mid session and the experience is as excruciating as you may think. Carrie’s world is rocked when the shrink tells her she picks the wrong men.

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While Carrie and the rest discuss the merits of playing games in the dating pool, they find a bar flooded with straight men. Samantha decides to swim in the testosterone. She finds quite the sports fanatic.

Carrie does her trademark musing with her laptop, questioning the role of gameplay in relationships. Which leads to…

Another interview montage!!!

Apparently they aren’t dead yet. If you’ve tracked my blogs on SATC then you know I’ve mentioned these before and claimed that they have been done with. Well… here’s another. It depicts some gameplay tactics “real people”  employ.

At Carrie’s second appointment she sees a hot guy as he finishes his session with Doctor G. At her third, she is dressed up and absolutely begging for him to talk to her.

Is that a little game, Carrie?

The guy introduces himself as Seth, but as he is clearly Jon Bon Jovi, we can guess he suffers from multiple personality disorder or something. Carrie quickly sets up a date.

While Carrie and Samantha are catching up, Sam is watching a game. The guy she is seeing is so into sports that if his team loses, then they don’t have sex. When they do have sex, Samantha alleges it is amazing, so she submits her chance of orgasm to the capricious nature of sports.

Miranda once again is making eyes with the guy in the neighboring building. This time he’s in just a towel and wants her to do a twirl. She obliges and is rewarded with a glimpse of his ass. She in turn shows off a boob. She really knows how to expedite things.

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Meanwhile, Carrie and Jon Bon Seth share Doctor G. stories. In an effort to halt any games, Carrie bluntly expresses her attraction. Seth Jovi reciprocates like Miranda baring a boob.

Speaking of which, Miranda sees her flirt friend at the store. She to decides to be an adult, and when she catches herself playing hide and seek, she bucks up greets him. 

Things quickly become horrifying. The guy seems to have no recollection of her. Even her miming of breast baring only brings back a vague recognition. Then he does realize who she is: the girl who lives above the guy he’s been cruising.

Welcome to Mortification City.  Your embarrassment (embarbreastment?) destination. Population: Miranda.

Miranda schedules an emergency session with her therapist.

Samantha thinks she may finally be able to have sports-less sex, but turns out there isn’t a sport he doesn’t follow, and his favorite baseball team has been sucking. Samantha decides to forfeit this game.

Carrie and Bon Seth are playing Twister. She thinks that their post-Twister sex heralds then end of game time and she decides to get real. She asks Twister champ Seth why he sees a shrink.

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He loses interest in women after sleeping with them.

Carrie makes a break through. She truly does pick the wrong guys.

At least Carrie got to rebound with Bon Jovi’s doppelganger. Not a bad way to recover from Big. Will Carrie have more hilarious and tedious dating hijinks note that she’s single? Guess we’ve got the rest of season two to find out.

The theme of “games” in this episode is well played… ha. But seriously, the issues explored are pertinent to anyone who has ever felt this way while dating. There will always be players out there, but sometimes the hardest thing is realizing that you are one.

Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: Old Dogs, New Dicks

Carrie doesn’t like Big looking at other chicks.

Sagacious Samantha comments that men are like that and that Carrie needs to settle down.

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Miranda is also getting used to settling down for bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night while new boyfriend Steve gets to her place late from the bar every night.

By the time she wakes for work, Steve has other work to do in the morning and that work requires Miranda’s attention.

Charlotte had been giving her attention to a new man as well. He is a good critic who uses a corny whisk reading system. How would she rate his penis, which is uncircumcised? Very poorly.

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Just to clarify, most men in America are circumcised, so this seemingly “extra” skin is a shock to most women here. So those of you for whom this isn’t a problem, or is in fact quite normal, keep in mind how sexually naive women in America are.

Sagacious Samantha one again expresses wisdom when commenting on looks being inferior to usage. Charlotte can’t get over it, referring to it as baggage. Even Carrie is indifferent due to her knowledge of statistics that most men aren’t. Miranda, usually intelligent, shows some ignorance by saying she wants to save her potential son psychological pain by inflicting physical pain with infant skin removal.

Yikes.

At least Samantha is supportive of all natural men.

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Later that night, Carrie is on a date with Big. She almost goes off on how arrogant he is after he swindles a bar if patrons into suffering his cigar smoke.

She restrains herself again when he checks out another chick.

She misses on why this bothers her while she puffs a cigar-ette of her own. Can you change a man, she muses.

And we are treated to another set of street interviews. I obviously haven’t watched season two in forever because I’ve forgotten how freaking many there are! I’m no longer going to say “thank goodness these are over” because, at this point, I have no idea when they will be over.

Just when Charlotte anxiety us about to crest over making love to her man’s extra flesh, he admits he is getting circumcised. Charlotte actually thinks this is a sweet gesture, because she’s secretly a sadist.

After more morning sex, Miranda finally has to fend off Steve. Unlike most straight men, Steve likes post coital cuddling. Unlike many straight women, Miranda hates it.

She complains about this during drag queen bingo. Samantha continues to claim that you can’t change a man. She also claims to love morning sex, which is probably true.

Then she runs into an ex. He’s in drag. He’s modeled his lady look on, you guessed it, Samantha. Apparently men can change. They can get circumcised and that can dress up like ladies.

The only man who can’t change is Big. Carrie presses this issue when she asks for a key. He evades every chance to change, but she goes to bed with him anyway. Until she is pushed out. Literally.

She smacks Big in retaliation in the nose. After attention to cool down in separate rooms and with ice, Carrie tries to chat the air by voicing her concerns.

Despite them dating again, she feels like he is the same guy from before and that she is lacking the same things from season one, and she wishes there would be more for her this time around.

Charlotte’s date had less this time around. Less skin. But he’s to fresh from the knife to do anything, leaving Charlotte desperately waiting for a man who changed his body. Just. For. Her. 

Aw… (Ew…)

Speaking of change, Miranda is hacked up on coffee and is trying to seduce Steve at 2 am. By the time she gets to the bedroom with some sexy wine, Steve is already asleep. So she gives up on her late night love attempt and asks Steve to leave for the evening.

A week later, Charlotte gets to she her man’s new naked penis, and he uses the most inaccurate and pathetic line ever: “You know this makes me a virgin?”

No. No it doesn’t. Stop it Charlotte. Just stop. But… okay she sleeps with him. They finish up only for him to break up with her so he can go share his new penis with the women of the world. Apparently Charlotte changed her man into a slut.

While regretting her candor, Big arrives to Carrie’s place with a bruised face. He admits that he’s crazy for her, even if he doesn’t give her a key. He gives her the most selfish speech about their relationship, but somehow it works. Our maybe Carrie is just desperate and will accept anything. But he spends the night at her place. Maybe there was a good change. Finally.

Another night at 2 am, Miranda gets a call from absent Steve. He asks her to look out at the blue moon. How poetic. Miranda decides to change a bit for Steve because, that’s what you do once in a blue moon.

This episode kind of regresses to the previous seasons “monster of the week” which is foreskin. It’s sad that it shows most of the main cast so scared of this issue, especially how outspoken they are against women under going plastic surgery at other points in the series. It’s kind of a double standard that it’s okay for men to mutilate their bodies but women who do are shallow and materialistic.

Regardless, we get a bit more plot development. Miranda becomes less of a stone cold heart, Charlotte begins her decent into sadistic inhumanity as she becomes more desires to snag a mate. A Samantha imparts words of wisdom.

Sex and the City Re-watch Recap: The Chicken Dance

Miranda has had her apartment professionally decorated because she is desperately nervous about having an email man friend, and possibly more, stay as her house guest. The designer has a thing for matching furniture with tacky dancing frogs.
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Carrie is also inducted as a house guest by Big through the ritual of being given a spare tooth brush. Big may be back in the picture, but mayhaps things will be better?

Back at Miranda’s place, Jeremy has arrived along with dating fatigue. As Miranda’s eyes gleam with hope of a blissful future with him, she sees his eyes light up when her interior designer arrives with one last piece of furniture.
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Hoping to shut down this unplanned and unfair romance before it blossoms, Miranda mentions their dinner plans, but Jeremy is smitten and invites the designer. Miranda spends the entire evening watching a man slip through her fingers with no way to stop it.

A week later, Miranda is throwing him a going away party, because if you let a cute single guy you like stay with you, but he won’t date you, then he needs to get the hell out. Which Jeremy does, and with a fiancee to boot. Miranda’s decorator.

Ice, Miranda says, we need more ice. Presumably to pack around her heart.

As Miranda shares her woes and the girls discuss the bollocks that is love at first sight. Samantha escorts a guy up to Miranda’s party because she believes in knowing who you’ll hook up with at first sight.
Carrie consults Big about love at first sight. She always calls him when she needs a more cynical view on things. Big just sees a chance for sex, which is the same to him as romance.

Okay.
There’s another 4th wall-breaking interview. I have seriously lost track of how many there are in the second season. I thought they were done.  I was wrong. This may be the last one.

For whatever reason, Carrie has been asked by the bride to be to write a poem to recite at the wedding. How tacky. What else is tacky? Samantha’s hook up from the other night was a rerun whom she remembers because when he climaxes he screams, “tug my hair”. Yep, she’s starting to make second rounds on the men of Manhattan.
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Despite her disgust at Samantha’s escapades, Charlotte is distracted by her role as a bridesmaid and her chance to shine with a sexy black dress she got to choose on her own.
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Nothing like a wedding to make singles go crazy.

Crazy is also what Big thinks of Carrie’s poem. I rather like the rhymes he composes, and he surprises everyone, including Carrie and myself by agreeing to attend the wedding with her. Carrie has high hopes about him being there with him which begin to go sour when he opts out of signing Carrie’s card.

We also miss out on a chance to learn his actual name. Drat.

Upon arrival at the wedding, the girls are immediately frustrated. Miranda ditches her post at the guest book, and Samantha makes a beeline for the bar because she runs into her rerun. Charlotte’s the only happy one, because she gets to wear a sexy dress walk down the aisle with a cute groomsman.

In a flash, it’s time for the reception, the fun, and Carrie’s poem. As Carrie prepares to bare her heart in front of people, the only one who matters to her, Big, steps out to take a call. Ouch.

The girls are all pretty pissy by now, except for Charlotte, but more on her in a bit.  Carrie’s getting fed up with Big evading involvement with her all day and Samantha isn’t pissy as much as pissed. She’s having a few drinks to dull out the sensation that’s she’s slept with every man in existence. Miranda is saddled with yet another mundane wedding duty: packing up wedding gifts. Her’s is extra heavy and spiteful. She’s regifting the tacky dancing frogs.

I love a good running joke.

All the while, Charlotte had been hitting it off with her aisle escort. While prepping the honeymoon suite they wind up having a roll in the rose petals. Then Charlotte meets the guy’s parents. While she’s convinced that she’s in the express lane to get married, her escort’s dad turns out to be a frisky fellow. When Charlotte tries to explain that she got felt up, she winds up being labeled slutty because of her dress and the whole affair crashes down in flames along with all the other sparks of romance that flare up at weddings like a viral infection.

So it seems Big was a bit too cynical for this whole event. All Carrie wanted was a date to dangle on her arm for the extent of a wedding, but Big knows better that weddings aren’t his style after having been through that stuff before. Carrie concedes that maybe she’s that type too and they leave together as the chicken dance begins.  But is she, really? Can she do romance in a cynical way? Can Big ever be the romantic type?

This episode turns out to be one of the more fun episodes in a while, and the wedding themed episodes in this series usually are. They capture that sense of dread and exhaustion that single people feel at these events that everyone who’s not single is oblivious to.

Season two hits a great stride for the rest of the season with some of the more entertaining adventures that can happen when you are out in the dating pool. While later seasons focus on relationships, there’s a feel at this point in the show that celebrates being single, despite the trials one can face.